Turning 30 05/29/2009
 

Yes turning 30 is coming quick, Too quick as I sit back and think about how far I have come in my 30 years, What I have seen and had to deal with it has taken a toll, I wish I could really say I am looking forward to 30 but I am not, There are many thing that worry me about this new journey, But I can't stop it so I need to just stand tall and deal with it, I will with grace like a do with everything else, But there is a fear, I can't deny that. So I will ask God to hold my hand and keep me strong. Have a wonderful day, Please know I am always here for you.
And I ask how was your day and what do you fear???
Candi xoxo

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Feeling blue 05/26/2009
 

  Do you feel a little sadder when you are around different people I found this and I thought everyone should read it,
8 Toxic personalities to avoid
 


Although we like to think that the people in our lives are well-adjusted, happy, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn't so.  Personally, I've had moments where I'll be skipping through my day, happy as can be, thinking life is grand and BAM, I'll be blindsided by someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of my sails.  Sometimes it is easy to write it off and other times, not so much. Maybe you are a positive person, but when you are around a certain individual, you feel negative.  Or, maybe you have an idealistic view of the world and when you are with certain people, you are made to feel silly, unrealistic or delusional.  Or, maybe you pride yourself in being completely independent and in control of your life, but when you are around a certain family member, you regress into a state of childhood.

Some of these situations, and yes, these people, can have a tremendously negative impact on our lives.  And, although we are all human and have our 'issues,' some 'issues' are quite frankly, toxic.  They are toxic to our happiness.  They are toxic to our mental outlook.  They are toxic to our self-esteem.  And they are toxic to our lives.  They can suck the life out of us and even shorten our lifespan.

Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:

1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics.  Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late.  These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.

  • Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem.  They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation.  The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.
2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them.  They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met.  You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."

  • Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust.  You are left disappointed and unfulfilled.  Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.
3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life.  If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast.  If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.

  • Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything.  Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity.  Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.
4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive.  If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'.  If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.

  • Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers.  In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over.  If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring.  Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.
5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it.  As you achieve, they try to pull you down.  As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.

  • Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be.  Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself.  Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.
6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere.  You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh.  You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response.  You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.

  • Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria.  This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships.  When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there.  When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are.  When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.
7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways.  In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies.  Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you.  Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business.  Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.

  • Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy.  These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.
8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy.  They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you.  They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.

  • Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process.  They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.
All of these personalities have several things in common.  1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue.  2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one.  3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.

Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity.  If you can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities?  What have you done?  Any personalities you would add?
Remember I am always here if needed God bless with love, Candi
And I ask how was youyr

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BWW 05/26/2009
 

I wanted to just remind everyone that we are always here for you whatever it might be. Please know you can trust us, We don't judge you, We are just here to listen and help you work though the pain you are feeling, Please feel free to email us,
With love, Candi XOXO

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Goals 05/23/2009
 

Make goals for yourself everyday sit down and write out your goal for the next day, You will find this very helpful
you will have something to look forward to, Even if it is a little goal like just get out of bed,brush your hair and teeth,take a walk, clean the house. What ever it maybe make a goal and it will help you, every day try to make that goal a little big then the last one, this can help you get through the hard days ahead. (9) years later an I am still making goals for myself, They will help you. Please know I am always here for you. And I ask how was your day??
Candi OXOX

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I had a good friend tell me you don't have to be 100% fixed to help someone else, so I want you to go out there and help someone else. If you see someone sad or having a rough time pick them up, help them even if it is someone you don't know . It could be as simple as a hello or a how are you, Don't just walk by them and pretend they are not there, If you see a homeless man just say hi, or God bless and if you have a dollar in your pocket and you can spare it hand it over to them if they need it, We should help the homeless not push them aside. We will donate to other country for the poor and sick, I believe it starts at home we need to lift up are own. So go out there and help someone who needs you, It will in turn help you, Why not give it a try.
God bless and remember always here for you,
Candi

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B.W.W 05/11/2009
 

I just had a woman ask me "Why I have shirts for Children we have LOST"
This  was my what I told her, WHY not think about it there are shirts for everything,  New Mom, dad, Brother,Sister so on. This is the problem why should we hide the fact that we have lost a child, We are not hiding it anymore,We love our kids with us or not, I wish that when you find out your having a Baby that all the classes you take would touch on this, Life is not prefect and people do loss children, On B.W.W 'home page there is a saying there is no name for what we become and I believe there should be. When you hide or try to pretend you never lost your baby it effects you forever,Everyday and in everything you do. You can become unattached  to you next children, WE CAN NO LONGER HIDE FROM THIS. We need to come together and heal really heal from our losses. This is why I wear my shirts with pride and so does my 8 year old who know about this big Sissy, And loves her very much, They are a part of us forever So I ask you to wear your  B.W.W shirts  with pride and let everyone know how much you also love your Baby with wings. God Bless and remember I am always here for you.And I ask how was your day???

Candi XOXO
Proud Mother of a baby with wings

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Mother's Day 05/10/2009
 

Happy Mother's Day to all....

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Tips & Warnings The time after a loss can be like a roller coaster - some days the person will be fine, some days the person will be full of pain. This is normal; try to be patient.
Grief is individual - the way one person deals with it may be different from the way another person deals with it.
Get help if you are worried that a grieving parent might harm herself or himself.
Seek help if you are worried that your loved one has progressed beyond healthy grieving into an unhealthy obsession or depression.
Watch for these signs, This is a very hard time in there life be there for them, Listen to them, cry with them.But always I mean always  make sure they are safe...... One loss is to much for One family to deal with..
Remember I am always here I check my email a few times an hour so Please feel free to email me when ever needed.. God bless. Candi XOXO
nd I ask how was your day???

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Our Hope 05/09/2009
 

Sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear
But our hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our hope is unchanged

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Mother's Day 05/08/2009
 

Happy Mother's Day
I know this is one of the hardest days for us.
Please know that I am praying for you on this day.
My little girl made me a mommy, even if it was for just 15
minutes, I will hold that priceless time I had with her. I miss her
so much, and I know you do too. Every Mother's day I go visits her
just sit there and read to her tell her how things are going
I let her know that because of her I have helped and met some great Mommy's
I know she is very proud of what babieswithwings is  doing.
I can only hope that you have also found away to share this
this day with your baby with wings. Please know I am always here if needed God bless and I ask how was your day???
Candi XOXO

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some babies have wings