Gotta love 3 doors down for this one!!!
One more kiss could be the best thing
Or one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And your not something I deserve

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
And you love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, let me go

I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
And I know what I'm going through

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
And you love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, just let me go, let me go

And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside
I know, I know
But all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows, who knows

You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, just let me go.............

Sometimes all we have is hope... Hope that everything will work how it is meant to work out... If we give up on hope then we give up on life... and I am not ready to give up on me.. I am not a quitter so I will fight this fight as long as I need to.. I just hope the ones I love don't give up on me... I think when life gets hard for you, You find out who your true friends are. the ones who push you to keep on fighting and pick you up when you need it... I think that is what scares me the most having  the people I care about and need let me down.. walk away not being able to deal with it....maybe that is why I don't tell anyone anything. After learning Kat was so sick and she would not make it and having the people I needed most turn their backs on me. WOW it hurt. it was a deep cut. So now I just deal with things on my own. afraid  to be hurt again.  I keep it all to myself, not wanting to be let down again. Well I will just HOPE that things work out and I don't have to hurt again...Leaving this one up to GOD!! that is all I can do.. RIGHT...
Be well with love,Candi
And I ask how was your day???
Song for the night~Sade~~ And I miss you..

My four walls... I can remember ten years ago like it was yesterday looking at those white walls...as they felt like they were closing in on me.... Being so scared, being so alone.. Just wanting you to stay with me. words can't explain the pain I feel everyday not having you here with me.... Why did you have to go so soon I will never be able to answer all the questions... I have to believe it was for a reason God needed you for a reason. God needed my Baby for a reason... Know one will every understand my pain... The pain I hide with a smile. the jokes I make so I don't break down... making believe everything is fine.. My life is perfect... What a joke is that.... My life is far from perfect.. I am far from perfect... Everyday I am learning something new about myself do I like everything I see. No but I am working on fixing it... I want you to be proud of your mommy. Mommy is always praying for you.. Baby girl not a day goes by that I am not thinking about you and what it should have been.


Until we meet again(((((HUGS AND KISSES TO HEAVEN)))))

Sitting here thinking ...... tick tock it's pass 9 o'clock....
thinking!!!!!!!!


Song for the nigh! Kesha~Tick tock!!!!!

Breath... this what I tell myself, Just breath. I don't think you will ever really know what you meant to me.. When I think about you I have to remind myself to stop and breath. I think about you always, wondering about the what if's and the should have been. When I think about you I feel the pain right along with the joy.. For something that hurts so much but is also my happiness is overwhelming. I guess all I can do is Breath. For knowing that for that moment in time you were mine.. that moment will last a life time. If I could change things I would, I would do anything to just make you mine. To have you near, to hold your hand. I miss the little things about not having you hear..I miss not being able to share my life with you. To build a story and fill it with years of happy chapters. I know I have to go on with life without you, without a us.. I have to face my reality  I have to just breath... I guess this is all I can do.. BREATH...

Just one of those nights were I have to just sit down and blog out what my heart is saying and feeling tonight...

Song for the night~~Leona Lewis~~ better in time

First day back from CA.. and I miss it already. I think I really want to move out there... I am going to work on just that.. a big change for me but I think that is what I need... so I have so much to do now that I am back.. But one thing at a time, planning our first bowling for babies. this is going to be a lot of work. but so much fun. I hope all is well with everyone. I am sorry I was not around to help out this week. but I know my girls did a great job for me. Thanks guys for stepping up. OK enough blogging for now  have a great night and remember always here if you need a friend....

Song for the day~~~ Carrie Underwood~~ Just a dream.. that's what you will always be.....