If ever one song just said it all well here it is.....
"Superstar / Until You Come Back To Me (That's What I'm Gonna Do)"

I wanna tell you, baby
The changes I've been goin' through
Missin' you, missin' you, oh...oh...
Till you come back to me
I don't know what I'm gonna do
N-n-n-no, n-n-no

Don't you remember you told me you loved me, baby
You said you'd be comin' back this way again, baby
Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, oh, baby
I love you
Yeah...I really do

Long ago
And oh, so far away
I fell in love with you
Before the second show

And your guitar
And you sound so sweet and clear
But you're not really here
It's just the radio

Don't you remember you told me you loved me, baby
You said you'd be comin' back this way again, baby
Baby, baby, baby, baby, oh, baby, yeah
I love you
I really do

(To belong) Yeah...hey...eah...yeah...hey...hey
(To belong) Whoa...ho...oh...whoa...ho...ho...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah

You looked for me to be yours
You want my love, but you're on the road
Don't you remember me anymore

Loneliness
Is such a sad affair
A sad affair
And I can hardly wait
To be with you again

And what to say, to say
To make you come again
Oh, honey
Come on back to me again, yeah, hey
I wanna be, I wanna be anywhere you are

Don't you remember you told me you loved me, baby
You said you'd be comin' back this way again, baby
Baby, baby, baby, woo, baby, oh, baby
Yes, I love you
I really do

Yeah, hey...
Yeah, yeah...eah...yeah...ooh...
Play it easy, play it easy
Keep it right there, keep it right there, keep it right there
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
What are you gonna say
It's alright, it's alright
Ooh, baby, it's alright, it's alright
Alright now
Keep it right there, keep it right there
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
It's alright, it's alright
Ooh, baby, it's alright, it's alright
Say it's alright, it's alright
Say, ooh, baby, it's alright, it's alright
Alright now
Eah...
L-l-l-l-love
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Eah...ooh...ooh...yeah...hea...
Say it's alright, it's alright
Ooh, baby, it's alright, it's alright
Alright now
Alright now
I used to be sad
But now it's alright, it's alright
Ooh, baby, it's alright, it's alright
Alright now
I wonder, I wonder
Where are you again tonight
Are you holdin' someone else real tight
I wonder, I wonder, I wonder
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the perfect lie<3..


 Boys to men<3 
how do I say good-bye<3How do I say goodbye to what we had?
The good time that made us laugh outweigh the bad
I thought we'd get to see forever, but forever's gone away
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday

I don't know where this road is going to lead
All I know is where we've been and what we've been through
If we get to see tomorrow, I hope it's worth all the wait
 It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday

And I'll take with me the memories to be my sunshine after the rain
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday


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January,4 2012 marked 12 years of missing my baby girl.. 12 years has come and gone.. Where did the days go, they turned into months and years, but the pain is still the same that never goes away. I believe we learn to cope with day to day life, we learn to block the pain and just get through today..When I found out I was having a baby I had so many hopes and dreams for my child. Looking forward to all the big moments we as parents can't wait for.Well with my baby this was just that a DREAM.. she would never be able to fill any of these aspiration I held inside for her. When I held that little girl in my arms. All my dreams for her where shattered. For years I didn't know how to heal or deal with the pain I was feeling. I couldn't understand why this was my reality. Why my Child Why my little girl who was suppose to be a ballerina was suppose to live a long life smile and laugh.. love and be loved... well I had to stop and remember that I had two choices in life.. Die right along her lay down my life and give up..OR get up and get living!!! Find away to keep my Daughters legacy a live and going.. Make her future what I dreamed it would be.. This was now my job..

Was this an easy task No but I new I couldn't give up. I knew she wouldn't want that. Maybe our Children have dreams for us two. I couldn't let the pain stop me..we can't help what comes are way or the road God has us on. somethings happen even when we don't want them too. BUT you can change what you choose to do with the cards your handed.. That is up to you. Has this road been an easy one I would lie if I said yes. Still 12 years later and the pain is like a knife in my heart.One that I want so bad to pull out but if I do so I bleed to death and I am not ready to lay down..so I keep my knife in place and work through the pain. 12 years ago people told me the pain gets easier over time.. That time heals all. Well I guess they never had to hold an angel in this arms and let her go..Give her back, come home empty handed with only a knife in there hearts. 

Today marked 12 years since I stood there grave side on the freezing cold day to say Good-Bye. I still remember how good the cold felt on my face I think it was the only thing I can remember feeling that week. So cold but felt good cause my outside was feeling just what my insides felt like..I just stood their motionless. No tears, I listen to my pastor speak an though Dude you have no idea no clue No one their did.. they spoke of love and trust and God's will and read a poem. I stood their just died.. Until my Niece(4) at the time came and held my hand and whispered it's OK auntie. You can cry it's OK to be sad..Wow the power of that little girl. I just smiled and thanked her. Kyla left her little cousin a red rose that day. that picture is  inked into my head. Klya leaning over and placing that single rose on that cold ground. 

12 years later I went to her stone today and cleaned it up placed her balloons and other items and one single red rose. I stood their cold again looking around at all the "new stone" that over the years have been placed all around Kat. These are all someone's babies, someone's dreams and hope wiped away in a moments time. little dates that too some mean just another day but to parents and family these dates are marked into their heads as painful memories of the days their life's changed.I stood their and this year I spoke to Kat. I usually wouldn't share this with anyone,but today I will. I told her thank you..Thank you for being my child thank you for letting me be your mommy. I asked her to please take care of all the little babies she is caring for. Let them know that we miss them and they are safe. I asked her to hug all the other ones who left earth way too soon, SAM and Lee<3 and to please keep keeping us safe. I thanked her for watching over Romeo an I reminder her that he didn't replace her that she will always be my first child and that not a day passes that I don't miss her and wish she could be here with us all.. I told her that I was proud of her, and that I hope she was just as proud of me. I read her this a poem I wrote called breathe. I sat their there on the cold ground just wishing she could be sitting with me. I know God needed a strong angel baby to run babieswithwings in heaven he needed a little girl to help all the other babies who come home too soon.. I was proud that God picked her. I am proud God picked me to be her Mother cause he knew I was going to be-able to be strong and turn all this pain into something so beautiful.. Broken into beautiful..... my wings might be torn but I can still fly high.. My 12 years of fixing this broken road haven't been easy but I don't think I would change this path. This is my path and I know I have to walk it. the good the bad and the ugly all have made me who I am today. I am blessed to be a beautiful broken mess. Kat has brought some amazing angel families into my life and heart, I wouldn't know these families without her. We wouldn't have reached those who needed a friend who gets it. I wouldn't be blogging this right now. We wouldn't have a BWW. So today I am not going to think about the pain, I am going to smile and thank God for picking me to be a angel Mother. Not everyone can say they held an angel in there arms so I am pretty luck you see.... remember you can take your negative and turn it into a positive, it's all up to you what you do with what God gives us... 

I will end this blog tonight with two things.
1. love life, love the people who are here today! Tomorrow isn't a promise to any of us, it's a gift
2. Dream big and go after what you want in life....
Be well with tons of love,

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<3 11/11/2011
 
‎"If you have fallen in love with two people, pick the second one,because if you truly loved the first you wouldn't have fallen for the second." -Johnny Depp

Song for the night<3 
"Nobody"
(feat. Athena Cage)

[Keith]
I want to tease you
I want to please you 
I want to show you baby
That I need you

I want your body
'Till the very last drop
I want you to holler
When you want me to stop

And who can love you like me (nobody)
Who can sex you like me (nobody)
Who can treat you like me now, baby (nobody)
Nobody, baby (nobody)
And who can do it like me (nobody)
And who can give you what you need (nobody)
Who can do you all night long (nobody)
Nobody, baby (nobody)

[Athena]
I want the night
For me and you
So come here baby
And let me do it to you

Don't be afraid
'Cuz I won't bite
I promise to give it to you
Just the way you like

And who can love you like me (nobody)
Who can sex you like me (nobody)
Who can lay your body down (nobody)
Nobody, baby (nobody)
And who can treat you like me (nobody)
Who can give you what you need (nobody)
And who can do you all night long (nobody)
Nobody, baby (nobody)
And the band keeps playing on

[Both]
On, on, on, and on, on
On, on, on, and on, on
On, on, on, and on, on
Nobody, baby
On, on, on, and on, on
On, on, on, and on, on
On, on, on, and on, on
Nobody baby

I want you right now for my lover
Oh yes I do
Place no one above you 
Oh yes I do
If you need love
I'll be right
I'll be right there, baby
Oh yes I will
Oh yes I will baby
Oh yes I will baby

And who will love you like me (nobody)
Who can sex your body like me baby (nobody)
Who can do it like me, baby (nobody)
No, no, no (nobody)
Who can lay you down just like me (nobody)
Who can kiss you all over your body, baby (nobody)
[Ad lib till fade]
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Little lamb 11/07/2011
 
12 years ago I found out I was having a little baby..well the first thing I did was went out and brought her a little white lamb.I would lay in bed at night and place this lamb on my belly and let it play it's little song..This white lamb is one of the only things I was able to buy as we shortly found out that our baby wouldn't make it in this world..well for months I would hug  this lamb and let it play it's song... I gave birth and our lamb was there..I placed the lamb next to our little baby and heard it's song play for a while... My little white lamb has been my my side for years..I am at a point now when it's time to pass this lamb on to a very special Mommy and little panda.. Why am I letting my lamb go?? this lamb has helped me through it all..Up and downs..and It's now time to for this lamb to help this Mother as she enters her new path and journey so when she is low she can place this lamb on her tummy and let it sing... and now that she has many people who believe in her....and can wait to see what her Angel Blake has in store for her....So My panda I hope you love your new lamb and let mommy listen to my song when she is low and needs to be reminded of what and who she is....

Love you guys tons....
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New day<3 11/07/2011
 
Well I took a break from blogging for a while. I need to clear my head and find me again. Sometimes I am so busy helping others I forget to help me!!! I drain myself and end up not wanting to do this anymore. It wasn't until I spoke with my dear friend Traci( love you girl) that reminded me why I do this why I am who I am.... this is my passion..BWW isn't just a website it's my life.... if you follow my blogs and my life you already no this..But for those who are new to our site..almost 12 years ago I gave birth to a perfect little girl..she was so perfect God wanted her back home with him.. as much as I wanted her here with me..I couldn't keep her as God had a bigger plan for her and I. It would be years of me wanting to do something and fighting it in my life. until I had tea with a angel, and that day again changed my life..over tea and a my notebook Babieswithwings was born.... this was in 2008.... Now a few years later we are changing the path of infant/child loss.NO MORE hiding it and sweeping it under the rug our children where here and they matter!!!! God has a plan for them and us. I know that I am so grateful for my beautiful angel as she made me the woman I am today.. I am a strong leader and I know that when I put my mind to it nothing can stop me... God allowed me to hold an angel. I am truly a better person because of Kat..I look at the world in a different light. I know that you too can see this in a new way if you allow your heart to heal. God isn't punishing you... Embrace life again.if not for yourself then for your angel..let them see you shine..... 
well again thank you Traci for reminding to keep shining<3 
be well with tons of love,Candi
143
AND I ASK HOW WAS YOUR DAY??????
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When I first laid eyes on you
Well, the night just felt so odd
You looked at me and the stars lined up
So I thought I'd heard from God
And I gave him my best shot

Loving you was like throwing a lasso around a tornado
I tried to hold on to you
Took a ride on a tilt-a-whirl that sits on top of the world
Man, I thought I could show you
I've always been afraid of flying
But you can't blame a girl for trying

Felt like a pearl when I was holding your hand
So precious I forgot
You could have any girl but I only wanted one man
And you were everything I'm not
Still I gave it my best shot

Loving you was like throwing a lasso around a tornado
I tried to hold on to you
Took a turn on a high trapeze swinging over the deep
I thought I could show you
I've always been afraid of flying
But you can't blame a girl for trying

Like a vine bends a tree to the ground
I won't hold you down
I tried to climb just as high
But I found all the clouds touch the ground
In this small town

Took a ride on a high trapeze swinging over the deep
I thought I could show you
That I've always been afraid of flying
But you can't blame a girl for trying
No, you can't blame a girl
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Pirouette
[peer-WET] Whirl or spin. A complete turn of the body on one foot, on point or demi-pointe. Pirouettes are performed en dedans, turning inward toward the supporting leg, or en dehors, turning outward in the direction of the raised leg. Correct body placement is essential in all kinds of pirouettes. The body must be well centered over the supporting leg with the back held strongly and the hips and shoulders aligned. The force of momentum is furnished by the arms, which remain immobile during the turn. The head is the last to move as the body turns away from the spectator and the first to arrive as the body comes around to the spectator, with the eyes focused at a definite point which must be at eye level. This use of the eyes while turning is called "spotting.
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Chest to chest
Nose to nose
Palm to palm
We were always just that close
Wrist to wrist
Toe to toe
Lips that felt just like the inside of a rose
So how come when I reach out my fingers
It feels like more than distance between us

[Chorus]
In this california king bed
We're ten thousand miles apart
I bet california wishing on these stars of the heart for me
My california king

Eye to eye
Cheek to cheek
Side by side
You were sleeping next to me
Arm to arm
Dusk to dawn
With the curtains drawn
And a little last nite on these sheets
So how come when I reach out my fingers
It feels more than distance between us

[Chorus]
In this california king bed
We're ten thousand miles apart

I bet california wishing on these stars of the heart for me
My california king

Just when I felt like giving up on us
You turned around and gave me one last touch
That made everything feel better
And even then my eyes got better
So confused wanna ask you if you love me
But I dont wanna seem so weak
Maybe I've been california dreaming

[Chorus]
In this california king bed
We're ten thousand miles apart
I bet california wishing on these stars of the heart for me
My california king

In this california king bed
We're ten thousand miles apart
I bet california wishing on these stars of the heart for m
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sade<3 08/15/2011
 
This one is for you tonight..
you think i'd leave your side baby
you know me better than that
you think i'd leave you down when you're down on your knees
i wouldn't do that
i'll tell you you're right when you want
ha ah ah ah ah ah
and if only you could see into me

oh when you're cold
i'll be there
hold you tight to me

when you're on the outside baby and you can`t get in
i will show you you're so much better than you know
when you're lost and you're alone and you cant get back again
i will find you darling and i will bring you home

and if you want to cry
i am here to dry your eyes
and in no time
you'll be fine

you think i'd leave your side baby
you know me better than that
you think id leave you down when you're down on your knees
i wouldn't do that
i'll tell you you're right when you (want)*******
ha ah ah ah ah ah
and if only you could see into me

oh when you're cold
i'll be there
hold you tight to me
when you're low
i'll be there
by your side baby

oh when you're cold
i'll be there
hold you tight to me
oh when you're low
i'll be there
by your side baby
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some babies have wings