Well I was asked a question by my therapist this week.. Here is what she asked me...WHO ARE YOU??

My job wasn't to answer this question right away but to truly think about it.. and come back to her this week with an answer... Who am I???? this questions blew my mind cause truly who the hell am I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes I am a wife,mother,a lover a daughter a sister a friend. The person many turn too for help in rebuilding there own life. BUT WHO IS CANDACE!!!!! maybe I am still learning who I am. What makes me tick what makes me smile what makes me happy... I have always been a fixer.. the one you can turn to when your in need of a friend and someone to help you pick up the pieces. Maybe this is so I don't have to focus on ME...if I am so wrapped up in others issues I don't need to think about mine...I am a true believer that we have a calling in life. Mine is BWW God gave me my daughter Katharine Mary for a reason... At 19 I thought I knew it all I had my life mapped out I would become a Mother and wife become a nurse and live happily ever after!! well sitting here at 32 (yeah I said it 32) I NO NOTHING AT ALL......Life is still a puzzle we have to make fit. Piece's that we have to put into place and sometimes as much as we want those pieces to fit they don't. We can't give up we just have to keep rearranging them until they fit well sometimes they never will and we have to move on and just let go of what we want...you can't make it fit all the time.. I guess I am blogging this tonight cause I am truly lost over this one.. wow that's a first for me.. I have no answer to this one. I guess I am still learning, I can tell you this I am ME plain and simple.I don't try to be anyone else. I love who I love, I like what I like and that's just it. Even if some think I am a little CRAZY well that's fine with me too cause that just means you never know what your gonna get with Candi..I am glad I am who I am..I wouldn't want to be anyone else..Just plain old crazy chick ME<3 love me or hate me...I am still gonna be ME<3

Be well with tons of love<3
Candi

Song to the night...Jon B<3 Someone to love...going old school for ya tonight....love this one.....

Taking a break for the summer from my blogs... need to clear my head and just relax for a while before our Bowling 4 babies event..... which is coming up very fast.. I will be soon in over drive. So this will be my last blog for a while.. I hope everyone has a safe and happy summer<3
Be well with love, Candi

Happy 4th of July everyone.... Have a safe and beautiful day<3
Be well with love, candi

She's got you wrapped up in her satin and lace.
Tied around her little finger.
She's got you thinkin' you can never escape.
Don't you know your heart's in danger.
There's a devil in that angel face.
If you could only see the love that you're wastin'

I can love you better that that.
I know how to make you forget her.
All I'm askin' is for one little chance.
Cause baby I can love you, baby I can love you better

I'm gonna break this spell she's got on you.
You're gonna wake up to find.
I'm your desire my intentions are true
Hey babe I know in time.
You're gonna see what you mean to me.
So open up your eyes cause seein' is believin'.

[Chorus:]
I can love you better than that.
I can love you better.
All I'm askin' is for one little chance.
Cause baby I can love you, baby I can love you.

The truth is always the best!! if I am asking for the truth that's what I want. Don't lie to me..or tell me what you think I want to hear..Just keep it real with me..I am a big girl and can handle it.... So just remember the truth is always better than a lie....
say hello to good bye<3

Dad of an angel<3

Don't Wanna Lose You - Gloria Estefan

Sometimes, it's hard
To make things clear
Or know when to face the truth
And I know that the moment is here

I'll open my heart
And show you inside
My love has no pride
I feel with you I've got nothing to hide

So open your eyes
And see who I am
And not who you want for me to be
I am only myself, myself

I don't wanna lose you now
We're gonna get through somehow
Don't wanna lose you now
Or ever
Baby, I've fin'lly found
The courage to stand my ground
But if you want me, I'll be around
Forever

We all make mistakes
We all lose our way
But we've stood the test of time
And I hope that's the way it will stay

It's all up to you
To tell me to go
'Cause it won't be me to walk away
When you're all that I know
And I know...

That I don't wanna lose you now
We're gonna get through somehow
I don't wanna lose you now
Or ever, never
Baby, I've fin'lly found
The courage to stand my ground
But if you want me, I'll be around
Forever, forever, yeah, yeah

Don't wanna lose you, lose you now
We're gonna get through somehow
Don't wanna lose you now
Don't wanna lose you, don't wanna lose you

No idea what to blog about tonight!! guess I am just gonna leave it blank so you can make up your own blog tonight..Good night<3

Be well with love, candi

I had a mother ask me today if the pain ever goes away. Well, I am sorry to say, that's a BIG NO.
I find that over the years the pain just gets deeper. Nothing can replace your child, no time can replace the heartache.
I think for me, we just learn to live with the pain. We adjust our lives to fit the pain in. We live around the pain. Some days are better than others. We learn to function in this world the best we can. One thing I hate to say but,  " It is what it is ". Life keeps going on even if for us time has stopped. Coping with this can be very hard on parents. Everyone around you wants you to just be YOU again. Well, I can say this, you'll NEVER be that person again. I am not saying you can't be happy again, it's OK to be happy, to laugh, to smile, to live. This is what our children want  most. They want for us to go on with life and be happy. You just have to learn to live again and to place your broken piece's of who you where into their new spots. This is possible and it takes time and the will to accomplish it. You can give yourself every reason to hate life, to hate others, to hate you but, why live like that? Do you honestly think your child wants that? I don't.  I know first hand on how it feels about hating yourself or wanting nothing more than to be with your child. I know it's HARD and the pain is deep. But, what in life is easy? We can't stop living. We have to be strong and stand tall and make them proud.
Losing a child is a nightmare that I wish on no one but, there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel. You just have to be willing to put the work in.
So, does pain REALLY go away?
Ha! I WISH it did, cause it really hurts so much.

And I ask how was your day??
Be well with love, Candi

Right now I am just being happy with who I am.. I am loving the people who are in my circle... It's been a long road to happiness, But I am so glad I am here.. and you know what I wouldn't change my life right now!!!! Each person plays a critical role in my happiness and it's perfect. There isn't a thing I would change!!! and you know what that feels great<3