SOME TIMES I WOUNDER WHY I BOTHER CARING SO MUCH!!!!!!




Perfection--- what is it and why is everyone  trying so hard to be perfect. Why can't  we just be happy with who we are on the inside. Looks fade.. there is always going to be some one prettier than me or you.. I have come to see this in a very hard way. FOR YEARS I hated everything about me. I always wanted to be shorter, skinner, prettier. and for many years I was trying to be something I am not.. It got so bad I would go days without eating I would run miles on end.. I wouldn't be able to stand up to quick because I would almost pass out... I hated me... Not because I want to hate me but I was always trying to make someone else happy.. I finally realized I am who I am hate me or love me... I can't be anything but me... If you don't like me then that's on you, and you can Fu*k off =0) 
I think it's sad that we can't just love each other for what we are not for what we look like.  "WE" are always looking for something better. Bigger houses, better cars, More Money. It's great to want more out of life. But in the end that house and all the fancy cars will never make you happy. I think perfection is not being perfect. Perfection is what you can see in someone that they can't see in them self.  When you LOVE someone you love them for all the imperfect things they do perfectly.... it's as simple as that...Love is building someone up, not pushing them down. When you love someone you want that person to dream big and follow that dream even if you don't believe in it. That's just it  it's their dreams. You don't question it--you just support it.
I think if we were all perfect what a boring world this one be... 
I love being able to see what others can't.. life isn't perfect. But it is what YOU make it.. You can either take all you flaws and own them and in brace them OR you can hide from them and beat yourself up over  something someone else doesn't like about you. I love all the imperfect things about me. Oh an the list is a long one. But I wouldn't change who I am not for a second.. I love me and who I am.. You should try it too. Just remember for all the things one persons dislikes about you another person will love  =0)




There is a quote I love.. “Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” This is so true to me.. I love you for all the imperfect things. 


Be well with LOVE, Candi 
and I ask how was your day?


Song for the night.. Bruno Mars. Just the way you are.


This song says it all.......

Have you ever looked up in the sky and found a star and made a wish?????
Why do we do that, deep down we know that wishes don't come true. Is it hope or faith that makes us wish  upon a star...
I can tell you I do this almost nightly laugh if you must but it's true I see that same bright star and I think of all the wishes I want so bad to happen.. to they well no not yet.. I guess there are things we can never change issues and situation that will always be what they are... I can wish until I am blue in the face NO one can bring back Kat... it is what it is......but still I find myself making that same wish the same promise I made to God the day he took her home with him.... I promise to be a better me...just let me keep her... but my wish for her to be here with me will not come true ever.... I will not see Kat again until my days on earth are over... But I am keeping my promise to God to be a better ME... To help others when I can. to love the ones I love., To hold my head up high. To never let anyone tell me I can't do something, God did give me a second chances at being a Mommy and I can tell you this one thing..I LOVE MY SON to pieces and he is the joy in my life..I will never be a Mother again, so I am loving every minute I have with Romeo. I see him growing up so fast and it saddens me knowing I no longer have a baby but a boy who is growing into a great little man...I just Wish I had the chance to watch Kat grow up. so many things I missed out on with her...I can tell you this even tho my wishes don't come true I will continue to make them as long as I can see my bright star shining down on me.... that's my Kat shine so bright for all to see........Katharine Mary My little butterfly words can even begin to  describe the pain of not having you here by my side...I miss and love you tons not a day goes by I don't think about you and the what if's well baby girl until we meet again please now I will make that wish for you every night keep shining bright....... My shining star......

Be well with love ,Candi
And I ask how was your day and did you make your wish tonight???

Song for the night ~~  B.O.B.: Airplanes

Just a song tonight..... Please read the words.........


Taylor swift~~ Untouchable

like A distant diamond sky
Mmm
I'm reaching out 
And I just 
Can't tell you why
I'm caught up in you
I'm caught up in you

Untouchable burning 
Brighter than the sun
And when you're close 
I feel like coming undone

In the middle of the night 
When I'm in this dream
It's like 
A million little stars 
Spelling out your name
You gotta come on, come on 
Say that we'll be together
Come on, come on
Little taste of heaven

It's half full 
And I won't wait here 
All day
I know you're saying 
That you'd be here 
Anyway

But you're 
Untouchable burning 
Brighter than the sun
Now that you're close 
I feel like coming undone

In the middle of the night 
When I'm in this dream
It's like 
A million little stars 
Spelling out your name
You gotta, come on, come on 
Say that we'll be together
Come on, come on 
Little taste of heaven

Oh 
In the middle of the night 
We could form this dream
I wanna feel you 
By my side 
Standing next to me
You gotta, come on, come on 
Say that we'll be together
Come on, come on 
Little taste of heaven

Oh, oh
Oh, oh
I'm caught 
Up in you
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
Oh, oh

Untouchable burning 
Brighter than the sun
And when you're close 
I feel like coming undone

In the middle of the night 
When I'm in this dream
It's like 
A million little stars 
Spelling out your name
You gotta come on, come on 
Say that we'll be together
Come on, come on 
Oh, ohwa, oh

In the middle of the night 
When I'm in this dream
It's like 
A million little stars 
Spelling out your name
You gotta, come on, come on 
Say that we'll be together
Come on, come on 
Little taste of heaven
 

I am feeling better!!! Thank God for that one. I am hoping by the end of the week that I will be back to my crazy self. I have so much work to do it's not even funny. I really can't put it off any longer. Bowling 4 babies is fast approaching and I have SOOOOO much to do still.. OMG how the hell am I gonna pull this one off. Well I hope you all enjoy your weekend and the last few days of summer. as the kids go back to school soon.. YEAH I get Mommy time again.. I miss running with the girls in the the morning.....and just my free time....have a great weekend and remember always here if you need a friend..

And I ask how was your day????
be well with love,Candi

song for the day!!!katy perry~~~ thinking of you

What a week from hell.... I have never in my life been this sick.... this is going to be a short blog just to update everyone..as you can see I am sick.. I will not get into what is wrong with me at this point but I am working on getting better.. If you need anything you can contact us we will still be here to answer your questions and help you when you are in need.. It might not be me but one of the girls will get back to you.... please know I am doing my best to get back to work and back on my feet I just need to focus on me right now and getting healthy again.. I wanted to also say   thank you to all that have emailed and sent cards and flowers I appreciate  them all. I will be back soon....

Song for the day... Leona Lewis--- Better in time.. this is my song for the day find it and enjoy....

Be well with love, Candi

This will be my only blog this week as my head is already spinning and it's only Monday.....This is a BUSY week for me.. Too Busy..... I have so much to do and get done... weddings and kids and work.... meetings and big changes to come.. Just a lot to get done in one week... so everyone enjoy your week I will be back next Monday... Remember if you need anything someone will be around to chat or email....

have a wonderful week.
Be well with love,Candi

And I ask how was your day????

Song for the week.... Ne-Yo (Love this one That's me a Beautiful Monster....RUN.....0)
"Beautiful Monster"

All my life
And the hereafter
I've never seen
Seen one like you
You're a knife
Sharp and deadly
And it's me
That you cut into
But I don't mind
In fact I like it
Though I'm terrified
I'm turned on but scared of you

[Chorus:]
She's a monster
Beautiful monster
Beautiful monster
But I don't mind
And I need her
Said I need her
Beautiful monster
But I don't mind

No I don't mind (I don't mind I don't I don't mind...)
No I don't mind (I don't mind I don't I don't mind...)
No I don't mind (I don't mind I don't I don't mind...)
No I don't mind (I don't mind I don't I don't mind...)

In her eyes
There's love and fire
In my heart
She's burning through
But I don't mind
In fact I like it
Though I'm terrified
I'm turned on but scared of you

[Chorus:]
She's a monster (she's a monster)
Beautiful monster (beautiful monster)
Beautiful monster (beautiful monster yeah)
But I don't mind (I don't mind)
And I need her (and I need her)
Said I need her (said I need her)
Beautiful monster (whooah)
But I don't mind (I don't mind I don't I don't mind)
No I don't mind

Playing with my heart
And she's playing with my mind

And I don't mind I don't I don't mind
No I don't mind I don't I don't mind
No I don't mind I don't I don't mind
No I don't mind I don't I don't mind

(I don't mind I don't I don't mind) And I don't mind
(I don't mind I don't I don't mind) Said I don't mind
(I don't mind I don't I don't mind) And I don't mind
(I don't mind I don't I don't mind) Beautiful monster

She's a monster (she's a monster)
Beautiful monster (beautiful monster)
Beautiful monster (oooo)
But I don't mind (but I don't mind)
And I need her (and I need her)
Said I need her (said I need her)
Beautiful monster (beautiful monster)
But I don't mind (ooooo)
No I don't mind

(Said I don't mind I don't I don't mind...) No I don't mind
(I don't mind I don't I don't mind...) No I don't mind
(I don't mind I don't I don't mind... Oooo...) No I don't mind

Tonight I have to start this blog off with just the title of a song.. Love the way you lie... Can we be addicted to drama and pain.. can we love it as much as we hate it.. can we feed it.. make it worst then it has to be.. here is some of the song that I have been listening to all day..Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe
I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight
High off of love, drunk from my hate,
It's like I'm huffing paint and I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate
And right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me
She fucking hates me and I love it.
Wait! Where you going?
"I'm leaving you"..

So you right now are asking your self what's wrong with me.... Well I have to say that I was raised in dysfunction.. To hate was to love.. that might sound crazy but it's what I knew...the yelling and hitting and fighting and the next day things are back to picture perfect. The happy brady bunch.... I know better now I know how love should be.. But it doesn't mean that I don't think that maybe I start the drama in my life. I feed off it....so how is it that one person can make you want to fight and scream, hit and yell and the next day love them to pieces...How do you stop it how do you fix it... if you take the time to listen to this song. I believe Eminem is also looking for the same answers. yes it might be a song but I can tell you this.. NOTHING we do in life doesn't have a truth behind it.. Ever I don't know, every just kidding, every I didn't mean it.. has truth behind it..... here is another part of this song that makes me think...Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though
Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk
I told you this is my fault... maybe that's just it maybe we are a tornado and a volcano!!!!!!!! a mix that will never fit.... well I hope when you read this blog you really take this song to heart... if your in a relationship like this...... LEAVE IT!!!!!!! Walk away..

ending this blog tonight with a lot of unanswered questions.. but I will work them all out....

Be well with love, Candi

ON VACATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Be well with love,Candi

song for the week... Taylor Swift~~~~ Teardrops on my Guitar. This has to be my favorite Taylor song ever.... it's the story of my life....

When you have something on your mind just say it....
If you miss someone tell them. Don't hide how you feel cause you never know when it's going to be the last time you have the chance to say it... I have learned this the hard way many times. Holding back and then never having a second chances to say how I feel. I will not let this happen again and my friends and family will tell you. If I miss you I tell you. If I love you I tell you. I always let you know what and how I am feeling. Life is to short not to say it. I always want those I love to know it. Just in case my tomorrow doesn't come they will know.....
With this said have a beautiful night.
Be well with love.Candi
and I ask how was your day and did you tell your loved ones that you love them or miss them today??? If not do so don't regret it you just never know what can happen....

Song for the night  Stevie B I wanna be the one...

thought for the night~~ sometimes it just has to hurt... sometimes we have to hurt.. We have to feel the pain.
p.s.I will always have those butterflies. that will never change.....

What is your passion??? What moves you???what is your favorite color??? what something you can't live with out????? My passion is giving back and to make others smile... being a light for someone who is in need. I have always been a fixer. If your broken I want to fix you.. I was told many times I can't save the world and yes I know this but what harm can it be to at least make the world a better place for someone..To do your part in making someone else happy.. make them smile.. That is my passion. What moves me???? MUSIC my music moves me I can be in a bad mood and all I have to do is throw on a great song and I smile.. Music for me is therapy. I just find it easier sometimes to say hey listen to this song it's everything I want to say with out having to say it.....HMMM what is something I can't live without great question but a hard one there are many things I need in my life.. first and foremost My Children I live for them... they are my world and I would do anything for them....Kat who made me the woman I am today.She is my Angel and my inspiration in everything I do and have done with my life.. And Romeo my hero. He is the reason I keep on keeping on.. The reason for me getting up everyday and try to be the best person I can be. He is truly my hero and my friend..I would never want a day with out them. I couldn't live without them...Also I can't live without my Mother.... I couldn't live without my Milkyway that is my addiction and one of the joy's in life..WELL I would be able to live without it. I just wouldn't want to.....My favorite color well two.. Aqua & and Black.. lmao This blog tonight was because I had someone email these questions and I thought it would make a great blog. So you guys would learn a little about me.. So I ask you to asks yourself these questions and you can feel free to email me the answers or leave them here.. Thanks and have a wonderful night..

And I ask how was your day???

Be well with love Candi..
Song for the night. Usher~ There goes my Baby...
here is my favorite part of this song..
I feel like it’s our first time
Every time we get together
Baby loving you feels better than
Everything, anything
Put on my heart you don’t need a ring
And I promise our time away won’t change my love